Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Angry Mamata refuses to board plane with a left wing

New Delhi April 10, 2013

Still fuming over being heckled by SFI activists yesterday in front of Yojana Bhavan, Mamata Di cancelled all her appointments with the PM & FM and decided to head back straight to Kolkata, her comfort zone.

Upon reaching the I.G.I. Airport, she was taken straight to the tarmac in a special jeep bypassing the mandatory frisking, baggage & identity checks. Sources in the Home Ministry say that the orders exempting her from these checks came right from top as the govt. did not want any of the CISF jawans & officers to bear the brunt of her anger. The govt. was also concerned about the safety of CISF offices, properties & vehicles in the state of West Bengal in case the sight of any metal rod reminds her of any sinister plot to kill her.

Upon reaching the ladder of the chartered aircraft meant to fly her to Kolkata, Didi was shocked to learn that the plane had a left-wing. She lost her cool and shouted at the officials escorting her as well as the plane’s crew and pulled up the pilot for leaning left from time to time. She wanted the left-wing to be removed immediately & all `compulsory left’ signages along the route to be dismantled.

Upon being politely told that flying without a wing would be impossible, Didi threw a fit and dubbed a left-wing extremist. Standing on the tarmac in her trademark whitish saree, she also issued a verbal press statement terming it a conspiracy hatched by the Congress led UPA Govt. at the Center in connivance with the left parties. As there were no scribes present, her statement was leaked to the press by the ground services staff of the aircraft parked nearby who managed to overhear it.

Unable to pacify her, the govt. finally made her speak to Pranab Da who managed to sell her the idea of flying back in a helicopter as it does not have any left-wing.

The chopper took off for Kolkata after a delay of four hours. Reports are coming in that the chopper pilot has made an emergency call to ATC as Didi is not allowing him to take a left turn. She is also reported to be persistently insisting that the pilot fly the chopper backwards, exactly in the direction Paschim Bongo is moving in under her able leadership. She is quite confident that by the time the chopper reaches Bengal’s airspace, West Bengal would have moved a little more southwards towards the Bay of Bengal. Hence the landing coordinates would have changed and only TMC cadre present on the ground would be able to guide them to the helipad.

Confused, fearing for his personal safety & morbidly scared of being taught a lesson in flying right by the TMC cadre at Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose airport, the pilot is seeking permission to overfly to Agartala.

    
Note: Please note that this is a piece of imaginary writing & should not be confused with real news or real facts. It is fake news and is not intended to personally offend any individual or a political party. 

Reactions from Twitter