Monday, April 22, 2013

US hastens Afghan troop withdrawal to provide Super Z+ Security to Bill Gates & Others

April 22, 3013, Washington DC

Taking cue from Indian government’s decision to provide Z+ category security to industrialist Mukesh Ambani by deploying paramilitary forces, the US senate today debated the issue & resolved to do the same with US billionaires including Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Larry Ellison & a host of others with a promising potential to literally enrich the coffers of both, Democrat & Republican camps during election campaigns.

The senate wholeheartedly passed another related bill to hasten troop withdrawal from Afghanistan to set free enough marines and equipment required to guard these richie-richs.

When questioned by scribes during a press conference about the justification for providing such security at taxpayer’s cost, that too by US marines, the White House spokesperson categorically stated that it does not look nice that poor countries like India are able to provide Z+ security to their moneybags who are way poorer than ours. He emphasized that now that third world countries like India are providing paramilitary protection to Ambani, the US govt., in order to retain its image as the global leader & a rich nation, was left with no option but to assign the US Military the task of safeguarding these VIPs.

When asked by a scribe as to why the govt. did not consider roping in the State Police or FBI for this job, the spokesperson replied that the senate could have considered these options only if India had entrusted this job to the State Police or the CBI.

“Make no mistake, the US was, is and shall continue to be at the forefront of everything under the sun and cannot afford to leave its billionaires feel demoralised & inferior to businessmen from 3rd world”.

Asked by Al Jazeera correspondent as to how could the US Govt. think of spending so much of public money to safeguard private individuals, that too in the face of persistent economic recession & spending cuts, all that the spokesman said was “YES, WE CAN”, before rushing back into the White House.

Disclaimer: Please note that this is a piece of imaginary satirical writing & should not be confused with real news or real facts. It is fake news and is not intended to personally offend any individual , institution, gang, gangster or a political entity or its followers.