Wednesday, May 1, 2013

PM Summons Land Sharks to Counter Chinese Intrusion in Ladakh


New Delhi, May 01, 2013
While watching the presentation made by the Chief of Army Staff, Gen. Bikram Singh this afternoon, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is reported to have liked the idea of tit for tat and sending a strong signal to China and showing off some Indian muscle by intruding into Chinese lands elsewhere along the Line of Actual Control ordering Tibet.
He has however ruled out letting the Indian Army do this job. Being an economic wizard that he is, Manmohan Singh has actually asked the Builders, Developers, Colonizers and other Land Sharks to do this job for the Indian Army. The Army Chief has been asked to float a tender inviting these property developers to execute this task. 
The reasoning given by the Prime Minister to the high command is that no one in the world can match & beat the abilities of our Real Estate sharks in matters relating to grabbing lands, specially those belonging to the government. And since the border areas along LAC belong to the Chinese government, our builders would be able to do what no army can ever do, that too without shedding a drop of blood or sweat for that matter. The PM also said that this would be a good way to solve the land bank problem being faced by Indian builders saddled with farmer protests & court cases against land acquisition. He in fact, presented a plan for declaring the areas thus captured within Chinese territory as Special Economic Zones meant exclusively for duplicating Chinese goods and flooding the Chinese market with these sub-sub-standard goods. This would be in line with Mahatma Gandhi’s Ahimsa doctrine as not a single bullet would need to be fired in meeting these cherished objectives. 
When asked about the source of his new found confidence & optimism, MM Singh explained to Madam that like India, Chinese ruling establishment too is mired in deep rooted corruption. This means that our land grabbers would find it a cakewalk to bribe the Chinese patwaris & registry officials & get the land titles mutated in their names without any hassles. Yak herders along the LAC who may protest against such acquisition shall be threatened with dire consequences & silenced by the followers & admirers of Raja Bhaiyya of Kunda in Pratapgarh, U.P. who would be drafted specially for this task. 
He is likely to announce massive tax concessions to the real estate barons who’ll help capture Chinese lands along LAC by giving them a tax holiday forever. He is also thinking of providing each of these builders with Z plus category CRPF protection every time they venture into Chinese territory.   
Reliable sources have told this correspondent that Intense lobbying has already begun to bag this job. Property dealers from Haryana & Mumbai’s underworld dons are giving tough competition to organised real estate giants like DLF, Unitech, Hiranandanis, Emaar, MGF, Godrej, Reliance, Sobha, Ansals, Indiabulls, Parsvanath, Tatas etc.
Disclaimer: Please note that this is a piece of imaginary satirical writing & should not be confused with real news or real facts. It is fake news and is not intended to personally offend any individual , institution, gang, gangster or a political entity or its followers.