Sunday, December 29, 2013

Nitin Gadkari is sitting on an Explosive Treasure Trove of Evidence against Aam Aadmi Party

Nagpur, December 29, 2013

Clearly rattled by the never ending demand for presenting `concrete evidence’ to support his allegation    regarding a tripartite meeting between Aam Aadmi Party; Congress & a big industrialist, BJP’s literally     heavyweight leader Nitin Gadkari has announced a cash reward of Rs. Two Crores plus lifelong directorship in one of his several benami companies to anyone who has in his possession the evidence supporting his  allegation made after he had mistakenly drank a bottle of desi tharra made from molasses at one of his many sugar mills.

Soon after the announcement was made, a bearded man named Rudan Krandan Jha, curiously claiming to be from the Media as well as Sarkar, contacted Mr. Gadkari’s office to discuss the contours of the deal. Their discussions happened at the banks of a dry & incomplete irrigation canal dug by Mr. Gadkari’s friend Mr. Dhan-Leti.       

Within hours of their meeting, Mr. Jha presented Mr. Gadkari with a CD containing raw CCTV footage from the hotel where this meeting allegedly took place. This reporter is one of the few who got to watch the CCTV recordings with Mr. Gadkari & his associates. By the way, as expected the recordings are of 5 star quality, fully HD video & crystal clear audio. This is what can be seen in the CD-

Clip No. 1: A man resembling Arvind Kejriwal, wearing untucked half sleeve check-shirt reaches the `IN-GATE’ driveway of the hotel. There is a security barricade for checking of cars manned by about half a dozen security guys. Upon seeing Kejriwal walking towards the barriers, one of the guards stops & curtly tells him that this gate was meant only for guests and not for job seekers. The guard then guides him to the rear of the hotel and asks him if he has been called for an interview. Mr. Kejriwal is then seen exiting the camera’s range.

Clip No. 2:  Captured by another camera facing the main road near the hotel’s OUT gate, Kejriwal is   recognised by one the guards from the slum in his New Delhi constituency. He promptly guides Kejriwal to the rear of the hotel politely warning him that if he continued to stand on the road sloping down from the hotel entrance, he was most likely to get run over by an Aston Martin, BMW or Audi. 

Clip No. 3: Kejriwal reaches the `Staff Only’ gate with a broom in his hand. The guard asks him for his ID Card. Kejriwal tells him that he does not have one. Suddenly a man in hotel housekeeping uniform (Housekeeping Supervisor) comes from inside the hotel and seeing Kejriwal with the broom asks the guard to let him in - “Today we are short of staff as many of them have gone to attend some shit called Mohalla Sabha organised by this god-damn Aam Aadmi Party. Give him a temporary gate pass; I need people. One of India’s big businessmen is coming today for a breakfast meeting with a ruling Congress party guy.”

Kejriwal is heard asking the  supervisor if this BIG BUSINESSMAN was Mr. Cheatin Gadbadi from Nagpur. His query was royally ignored by the supervisor who gave him a dirty look uttering-“Here comes one more highly educated & unemployed middle aged candidate”. Hoping to enter the hotel dressed up as a janitor and then finally reaching the private conference room for his meeting with the Big Industrialist, Kejriwal   quickly follows the housekeeping supervisor, broom held high in his right hand.

Clip No. 4: Kejriwal is seen changing into hotel uniform. He quickly tucks-in his own clothes in the huge pockets of the uniform and walks out of the changing room with his broom.

Clip No. 5: Supervisor is seen telling Kejriwal to take charge of the kitchen and clean it up thoroughly.    Kejriwal enters the kitchen and his services are sought by all the chefs & their assistants to clean up the floor on which they keep dropping food pieces, oil etc. Kejriwal is seen in the kitchen for the next 4 hours till the bell rings announcing tea time for staff. He quickly rushes out of the kitchen.

Clip No. 6: Kejriwal is seen crossing a corridor and landing up at the service entrance of the restaurant. As he tries to sneak into the restaurant, he is intercepted by the guard who asks to see his pass. Kejriwal takes out his temporary gate pass and hands it over to the security chap. The guard looks at the gate pass and promptly blows a whistle. Three securitymen are seen arriving within minutes and whisking Kejriwal away.

Clip No. 7: The securitymen enter the housekeeping supervisor’s cubicle holding Kejriwal firmly by his arms. The   supervisor shouts at him and tears his pass angrily. He sacks Kejriwal on the spot! When Kejriwal asks for his wages for 4 hours of work, the guards lift him and exit the camera range.

Clip No. 8: Two security guards throw Kejriwal out on the service lane adjoining the hotel. An autorickshaw with AAP poster stops; autowallah comes out; lifts Kejriwal and puts him in the back seat; starts the Auto and exits frame.

After the last clip ended, Mr. Nitin Gadkari called Rudan Krandan Jha on his mobile and asks him to edit it creatively to which he promptly agreed.  

Last heard, Mr. Jha was on a flight to Singapore for carrying out post-production jobs like morphing & other special effects on the CD’s footage to make it look genuine.

Watch out this space for Mr. Gadkari’s next press conference for more details.


Disclaimer: Please note that this is a piece of imaginary satirical writing & should not be confused with real news or real facts. It is fake news and is not intended to personally offend any individual , institution, gang, gangster or a political entity or its followers.