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Showing posts from April, 2013

US hastens Afghan troop withdrawal to provide Super Z+ Security to Bill Gates & Others

April 22, 3013, Washington DC

Taking cue from Indian government’s decision to provide Z+ category security to industrialist Mukesh Ambani by deploying paramilitary forces, the US senate today debated the issue & resolved to do the same with US billionaires including Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Larry Ellison & a host of others with a promising potential to literally enrich the coffers of both, Democrat & Republican camps during election campaigns.

The senate wholeheartedly passed another related bill to hasten troop withdrawal from Afghanistan to set free enough marines and equipment required to guard these richie-richs.

When questioned by scribes during a press conference about the justification for providing such security at taxpayer’s cost, that too by US marines, the White House spokesperson categorically stated that it does not look nice that poor countries like India are able to provide Z+ security to their money…

Highest Court allows Dawood & Li’l Shakeel immunity from prosecution & persecution

Karakoram Mountains, April 18, 2013

Situated atop a freezing peak 8850 meters high, the highest court of the land has granted known gangsters, druglords & terror financers Dawood & Li’l Shakeel immunity from prosecution. The court also issued notice to the union home ministry and the union justice ministry asking as to why all FIRs registered against them should not be quashed with immediate effect.

The court ruling came on two separate petitions filed by the lawyers of these two `most wanted’ men seeking exemption from prosecution on the grounds that rozi-roti, i.e. livelihood of thousands, if not millions, of people around the world would be at risk if these two were ever arrested, imprisoned & incarcerated in jails. They presented data to convince the 2-judge bench that billions of rupees worth transactions would be endangered by their arrest; that they have taken suparis for bumping off many people around the globe and also for arranging terror attacks in India. Thei…

Delhi Police's report on Didi's heckling leaked!

New Delhi. The Delhi Police have submitted a detailed report on the fracas & heckling of Didi & Dr. Mitra in front of Yojana Bhavan on 9th April. As the Home Minister Mr. Sushil Kumar Shinde is not in town, the sealed envelope containing the report is yet to be opened & its contents perused. However, this reporter has accessed a copy of the complete report just by slipping a 50 rupee note in the hands of the constable manning the despatch desk at the police headquarters.

The report graphically details out the steps taken by the Delhi Police unit entrusted with Didi & her lieutenants’ security and more or less corroborates the statements made by CPM & SFI leaders that she deliberately chose to get into trouble.

The report mentions that while starting from her residence, Didi looked quite serious & bored. In the car also she didn’t speak much and kept staring at people & objects passing by on left side of her car. However, when she suddenly heard the sound of…

Angry Mamata refuses to board plane with a left wing

New Delhi April 10, 2013

Still fuming over being heckled by SFI activists yesterday in front of Yojana Bhavan, Mamata Di cancelled all her appointments with the PM & FM and decided to head back straight to Kolkata, her comfort zone.

Upon reaching the I.G.I. Airport, she was taken straight to the tarmac in a special jeep bypassing the mandatory frisking, baggage & identity checks. Sources in the Home Ministry say that the orders exempting her from these checks came right from top as the govt. did not want any of the CISF jawans & officers to bear the brunt of her anger. The govt. was also concerned about the safety of CISF offices, properties & vehicles in the state of West Bengal in case the sight of any metal rod reminds her of any sinister plot to kill her.

Upon reaching the ladder of the chartered aircraft meant to fly her to Kolkata, Didi was shocked to learn that the plane had a left-wing. She lost her cool and shouted at the officials escorting her as well as t…