Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Supreme Court's comments on Daughters-in-law as Housemaids rocks the institution of marriage

Psychiatrists & marriage-counselors across the country never had it so good. Huge serpentine queues in front of shrinks' offices are being reported from all the metros, cities and mofussil towns with men & women lining up in  equal numbers.

It is now confirmed that all these people report sudden  loss of  purpose of  life given the Supreme Court of India's ruling in a case asking people to treat their daughter-in-law as a family member and not as a housemaid.

Demonstrations are being reported from various places with men shouting slogans against the Supreme Court asking the court to tell them what to do with their wives & daughters-in-law now. Women too are pissed off with the court's order as they claim to have lost the purpose of living after their scared husbands and in-laws have stopped allocating them work.

“Tell me, how will I spend the day if all the work I was doing has now gone to my newly hired domestic help Kalawati”, thundered a housewife from a middle class locality.

In another part of the city, another woman rued the court's remarks saying that this order has actually left women like her at a major disadvantage. “If I do not work as a maid, why on  earth would my husband & in-laws include my name in their wills; what am I supposed to do now to win their hearts, property & wealth & get it written all in my name. What an identity loss!!”, she yells angrily.

“With no domestic chores to do, I am finding it difficult to fend off my husband's boring bedroom advances. Previously at least I could give the excuse of being tired after a day's hard work and refuse sex. Now what”, rues another housewife from an elite neighbourhood.  

On the other side, men too look devastated after this court order. Earlier, they would simply come home from work; ask for tea, snacks, drinks, dinner etc., plonk themselves in front of TV and doze off on the couch. There was no need to interact with their wives who were always busy doing their domestic maid-ish chores. Now, with their wives let free by the court order, they just don't know what to do with them.

“Earlier, the only talk I had with my parents' bahu is Hey, get me this & get me that. Now she's always sitting with me during breakfast, tea & dinner prodding me to talk something. Tell me, what do I talk with her? I shiver at the thought of coming back home and at the thought of having to talk with her. The only thing I can talk about is money, cars, IPL betting & bragging about paid sex during outstation tours with my male friends during drinking sessions. It is a rubbish judgment which has ruined my life”, he fumes.

Waving a banner criticizing the court's remarks, a top rung manager in a MNC regretted the development. “Having nothing else to do the whole day, my wife is full of vigour when I get back home in the evening. And she wants me to make each night romantic; she won't go to sleep till we've run the full course. And I just cannot do it. After getting screwed at my workplace for the whole day, I just don't have the energy for all this. I'm afraid, she is sooner or later going to get hooked with someone else and that'll be the end of our marriage”, he said in hushed tones.

A distraught elderly couple in Mangalore participating in a dharna organized by Bhartiya Sanskriti Sanrakshan Sene had this to say – “Our forefathers were very wise men. A lot of thought has gone into the concept of bahu or daughter-in-law. And you can realise their wisdom even today. Imagine the economic impact of having a maid to do all the domestic work and keeping another one just for  sex & procreation of one's family tree or vansh! Maintaining this dual system would play havoc with the finances of many a household. And that must be the reason why both these roles were clubbed together, what you guys call multi-tasking these days” he explained proudly amid slogan shouting by the trishul & lathi wielding sene members.

Another old man standing & listening to this conversation jumps in to add -”In fact, the origins of the word `bahu’ can be traced to the Hindi word `Bahut’ meaning ‘Many’. Bahu therefore stands for a multi-faceted multi-role performer”, he said with a smirk.

Commenting on the issue Delhi's Chief Minister Sheila Dixit and MNS leader Raj Thackeray, both echoed similar sentiments and criticized the court in what they labeled an attmpt to pollute Indian culture. They cited railways figures about the increase in women passengers from East Bengal, Bihar, Jharkhand, Orissa & Chhatisgarh pouring into Delhi & Mumbai to fill up the vaccum created in the housemaid sector. This, they said is a ploy to change the demographics of their cities.

Rates for Jhadoo-Ponchha (Cleaning-Mopping), Dusting, Cooking, Utensil Cleaning and Baby-Sitting have skyrocketed ever since the Supreme Court's observations were reported in the media. Union Finance Minister P. Chidambaram welcomed this development and is actively considering bringing the `housemaid' sector under Service Tax ambit. 

Progressive women's organizations have also hailed the court's order and are planning countrywide agitation for creation employment opportunities for all the ex-housemaids set free by the court. All India Mall Owners Federation too has welcomed the court's order and is expecting an increase in footfalls in their otherwise empty malls.

“Married women or bahus now have all the time to shop and we are planning to add more malls basis the increased footfalls. We have also commissioned an ad-campaign linking women's liberation with shopping. After all, a woman's liberation & modernity quotient is measured by how much she can shop & how frequently, isn't it”, asked the federation's president.    

Disclaimer: Please note that this is a piece of imaginary satirical writing & should not be confused with real news or real facts. It is fake news and is not intended to personally offend any individual , institution, gang, gangster or a political entity or its followers.