An Indian male is reported to have grown balls at the age of sixty years. He has been promptly named Aar Kay Singh (pronounced as AadKe Singh in Bihar from where this incident is being reported) by the hospital staff.
Doctors are calling it a miracle but are denying that this is a fit case for Guinness Book of World Records. When questioned by the world media, Dr. Surgeon Singh said that this sort of things are a routine in a tribe called Indian Civil Servants and many before this RK Singh discovered their manhood (Mardanagi) post retirement. He said that many of his patients not only grew balls after retirement, but some also developed a Spine while others saw their Guts growing.
Explaining this phenomenon, Dr. Analytical Pande, a renowned social scientist & political commentator said that the symptoms of this disorder can be seen across Indian bureaucracy. Most officers seldom open their mouth in front of their political & corporate masters and blindly keep doing what their masters tell them to do. In lieu, they keep getting promotions and other benefits, including dirty cash & lucrative postings.
As long as they are in service, things like morality, whistle blowing, crusade against corruption, political interference are alien to this tribe. In fact, if any member of the tribe dares to open his mouth, the rest of the tribe locks this non-conformist member in doghouses called Deptt. Of Archives; Schools of Training; Directorate of Uniform Inspection; Directorate of Cattle Census; Department of Star Gazing & Wound Licking Cooperatives etc. Most of the members of this tribe develop a pig like pout after years & years of sucking-up to their masters. They suck hard till they get a post retirement posting in one of the super luxury, all paid stay at retirement homes also known as Raj Bhavans.
Those who fail to get such post-retirement benefits start leaking the dirty secrets of their respective departments & of course, their masters. They paint themselves as crusaders against evil, patriots, upholders of democracy & advocates of everything good under the sun. But when you question them as to why they didn’t blow the whistle while in service, the way Satyendra Dubey did, these chaps suddenly show signs of being deaf & dumb. They behave as if your question was meant to be answered by the pigs roaming nearby.
Reports are pouring in from Delhi’s famous Shahjahan Road, about the discovery of a stinky grave right below Dholpur House, home to UPSC (Union Public Service Commission). Visuals of thousands of spinal cords, some fresh, others old; decomposed & decomposing guts and millions of balls, small & big, being dug out are being beamed across the country by news channels.
`It is nothing but massacre of Indian manhood, how the hell is India going to fight Pakistan with these type of men???? ’, thundered Door Knob Goswami, super prime time news anchor during Noise Hour.
“Imagine these gutless, spineless & above all ball-less guys ruling India as its bureaucrats!”, is how Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) has reacted to this development. “There is no question of us allowing-in such guys into our party. Afterall, how do we know that they are even Aadmi? After all, a man is known by the balls he keeps, isn’t it?” Said AAP’s spokeswoman.
Yes Lady, a man should certainly be measured by his Balls!
Disclaimer: Please note that this is a piece of imaginary satirical writing & should not be confused with real news or real facts. It is fake news and is not intended to personally offend any individual , institution, gang, gangster or a political entity or its followers.