AmarSharma-Sensible Nonsense

Nagpur, December 29, 2013 Clearly rattled by the never ending demand for presenting `concrete evidence’ to support his allegation    regarding a tripartite meeting between Aam Aadmi Party; Congress & a big industrialist, BJP’s literally     heavyweight leader Nitin Gadkari has announced a cash reward of Rs. Two Crores plus lifelong directorship in one of his several benami companies to anyone who has in his possession the evidence supporting his  allegation made after he had mistakenly drank a bottle of desi tharra made from molasses at one of his many sugar mills. Soon after the announcement was made, a bearded man named Rudan Krandan Jha, curiously claiming to be from the Media as well as Sarkar, contacted Mr. Gadkari’s office to discuss the contours of the deal. Their discussions happened at the banks of a dry & incomplete irrigation canal dug by Mr. Gadkari’s friend Mr. Dhan-Leti.        Within...

Having accidentally tuned into Indian TV news channels, Begum Kalsoom was shocked to see heated discussions and debates on her hubby Nawaz calling Manmohan a Dehati Aurat (country woman), including Modi's speech in Delhi yesterday referring to this `insulting' expression reportedly used by her not so sharif husband. Fearing an armed attack on Pakistan by patriotically pissed-off Indian journos and Modi's supporters, Begum Nawaz hurriedly called a press conference right across the Line of Actual Control to clear the air. She just couldn't digest the prospect of Arnab Goswami gheraoing Nawaz Mian in his American hotel lobby and giving one-track high decibel sermons in the name of an interview.The loudspeaker horns were aimed towards Indian army posts in the hope that the Indian soldiers would get to hear her explanation and the military intelligence might record & share it with the media. To nip the escalating tension across the border, she walked into the press c...

By & large, the entire nation hailed Supreme Court judgement upholding citizen's right to reject all the candidates in a poll and its order to the Election Commission to introduce a special button for those wanting to exercise their Right to Reject. Sensing the public mood, most political parties and their netas have welcomed this judgement to harvest public goodwill by appearing to be `politically correct' even though deep down inside their hearts (I know they have one b'coz of the chest pain syndrome everytime a politician faces the prospect of staying in jail) & souls (not sure if they have one), most netas abhor this judgement.  I happened to eavesdrop into a sinister All Party conversation among a handful of politicians and their cronies. I must tell you that there was no one from the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) in this get together. The place was a pub called PUB Lic-ki-Lee. And this is what transpired at the pub- Congress-ee (to BJP Wala): So, you guys w...

A number of rape & molestation cases have been reported from across the country between yesterday & today. In almost all the cases, the victims were reported to be alone with their tormentors in a room. All the accused arrested in these cases have claimed innocence citing that the women complaining of rape & molestation were actually suffering from a mental disease that makes women yearn for solo male company inside a room. All the accused & their lawyers have spiritedly cited this `disease’ whose details were disclosed for the first time by none other than Ram Jeth maligni , India’s noted criminal lawyer and a presidential wannabe.    In one instance, a terminally ill patient tried to rape a nurse attending to him in a five star hospital. Upon being questioned by the police inside the ICU, he told the investigators that the reason the nurse came to his room while he was alone there is because she is suffering from the `Man Disease’ referred to by Mr. Jeth ...

There goes one more independence day marking India’s 67 years of `freedom’! Freedom from what? Being ruled by the British – certainly a Big Yes. Freedom from everything else a society or nation ought to be free of – A big question mark!! Like every year, Indians celebrated their nation’s independence in the usual way – putting on their traditional attires taking special care to wear colors resembling the national flag; hoisting national flag in their respective localities; standing as the national anthem was played; going shopping to nearby malls to avail `freedom discounts’; eating out as the domestic help chose to take an off on this important day; some took off to distant destinations to enjoy their long weekend while a few flew tricolor kites. And yes, we didn’t forget to wish our Facebook/Twitter friends a happy Independence Day. That’s about it! Celebrating Independence Day in our country (& perhaps everywhere else) has been turned into a wonderful ritual full...

The otherwise shy, invisible, inaudible Madam’s loyalist Manmohan Singh is reported to have conveyed a strong message to 10, Janpath that he is no longer a pushover and is very much in the race for Prime Ministership in 2014! Sources close to him inform that he is no mood to vacate his PM’s chair for Rahulji in the event UPA returns to power post 2014 general elections and is willing to press for a vote when push comes to shove to decide as to who’ll lead the UPA-III next year. In a damning revelation, FICCIleaks website has posted secret audio recordings of conversations at PM’s residence made by USA’s NSA operatives who are said to have dozens of listening devices planted at 7, Race Course Road, PM’s official residence! In one of the recordings, PM is heard being battered by his better half, bitter over the rising prices of tomatoes, onions, potatoes and all other green vegetables with some of them costing and others rushing to the Rs. 100/Kilogram levels. Previously, she was o...

An unprecedented exodus of household helps, specially cooks has been reported from all over the country bringing a large parts of the urban economy into a grinding halt. The most affected are households in big cities, specially metros which are home to a large number of working couples who depend on cooks or khaansamas for their daily nutritional requirements. Neighbourhood dhabas & roadside eateries too are reporting sudden & steady outflow of cooks. To get to the root of this phenomenon, this correspondent decided to visit some of the slums where these culinary experts live. He sees a crowd at a tea stall intently watching TV. No, it wasn’t an Indo-Pak cricket match. They were watching TV news and studio discussions about the death of children in Bihar after eating mid-day meals in their school. They came to know that teachers & principals of the school have been suspended for negligence and FIRs filed against them for cooking & serving contaminated meals as prep...

Psychiatrists & marriage-counselors across the country never had it so good. Huge serpentine queues in front of shrinks' offices are being reported from all the metros, cities and mofussil towns with men & women lining up in   equal numbers. It is now confirmed that all these people report sudden   loss of   purpose of   life given the Supreme Court of India's ruling in a case asking people to treat their daughter-in-law as a family member and not as a housemaid. Demonstrations are being reported from various places with men shouting slogans against the Supreme Court asking the court to tell them what to do with their wives & daughters-in-law now. Women too are pissed off with the court's order as they claim to have lost the purpose of living after their scared husbands and in-laws have stopped allocating them work. “Tell me, how will I spend the day if all the work I was doing has now gone to my newly hired domestic help Kalawati”, thundered a ho...

Human chest is a very handy thing…and please don’t get me wrong for I am only referring to some well known but least understood uses of human chest. Biology teaches us that we all have a chest…that it is held in shape by a rib cage which also houses our heart…so on and so forth. Really? Not if one goes by the way our justice delivery system works! For the Indian judicial system, Chest is the sole prerogative of the rich and the well connected. Ordinary people just don’t have it. Which is why almost all the financially well off scamsters and networkers seldom get to stay in jail even after being arrested for the most heinous crimes, including looting public money. They invariably complain of chest pain and land up in comfy confines of a hospital – usually an expensive five star types. The chest pain continues till their lawyers and well wishers pull strings to get them bail. And this brings us to another chest – the currency chest. Yes, the same one which several court judges are...

Indian youth had never had it so good. With over 50% share in the population, youth is being venerated  day in & day out…paens are being sung by all & sundry…the media is going ga..ga over them, films are being made targeting youth & what not. In some cases, youth are even getting prominence at the cost of other groups. The entry of 79 MPs below 40 years of age is being heralded as a watershed moment in India’s parliamentary history. Anyone who doesn’t fit into the `youth’ category must be feeling completely out of place, as if (s)he has committed a sin by not being young! But why are we celebrating youth? What’s so special about this group…what have they done?? Why do we speak so highly of them??? It’s time we understood this stuff. `Youth’ in my view, is synonymous with a deep & never ending yearning for positive change, an element of rebellion against what exists,  the way it exists and a fountainhead of fresh ideas & boundless energy to trans...

Kolkata & Mumbai, May 06, 2013 West Bengal's Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee today announced that she intends tying Rakhi to  Prime Minister Manmohan Singh coming Rakshabandhan and making him her brother. "Brathers are supposed to be sabhiours of their sisters, protecting them everytime they come in harms way. And Monmohan Shing has done ekjactly that by dibherting media and public attenshun from Saradha cheet-phund scam and phokashing the limelight on himself, his railway minishter Pabon Koomar Bonshol and Law minishter Ashbhani Koomar. I ken not tail you how reeleeebhd I am today. Thet constant cobherage of the scam was like hel baba...leebhing us no time to erect neeu electrishity poles in bhitween the court and the jail bhere Shoodipto Sen & other Saradha peepul are kept. You see, we hab to inshtall poles on both sides of the road becoj we don't know from which bhindow of the jail van  Shoodi...

New Delhi, May 01, 2013 While watching the presentation made by the Chief of Army Staff, Gen. Bikram Singh this afternoon, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is reported to have liked the idea of tit for tat and sending a strong signal to China and showing off some Indian muscle by intruding into Chinese lands elsewhere along the Line of Actual Control ordering Tibet. He has however ruled out letting the Indian Army do this job. Being an economic wizard that he is, Manmohan Singh has actually asked the Builders, Developers, Colonizers and other Land Sharks to do this job for the Indian Army. The Army Chief has been asked to float a tender inviting these property developers to execute this task.  The reasoning given by the Prime Minister to the high command is that no one in the world can match & beat the abilities of our Real Estate sharks in matters relating to grabbing lands, specially those belonging to the government. And since the border areas along LAC belong to the C...